AS virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say,
"Now his breath goes," and some say, "No."
So let us melt, and make no noise, 5
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move ;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.
Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears;
Men reckon what it did, and meant; 10
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.
Dull sublunary lovers' love
—Whose soul is sense—cannot admit
Of absence, 'cause it doth remove 15
The thing which elemented it.
But we by a love so much refined,
That ourselves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss. 20
Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to aery thinness beat.
If they be two, they are two so 25
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fix'd foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.
And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam, 30
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.
Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just, 35
And makes me end where I begun.
About John Donne
John Donne was born in 1572 to a recusant Catholic family (meaning a family that did not attend Anglican practices). At the time, practicing Catholicism was illegal in England. Though his family faced much persecution, John Donne managed to achieve a private education, going on to study at Cambridge – However, he failed to get a degree due to his Catholicism. Later in life, after questioning his faith, he became a Protestant – He fought in the Anglo-Spanish war, and upon returning, he began an illustrious career as chief secretary to Lord Keeper of the Great Seal, Sir Thomas Egerton. However, this did not last; four years later, he displeased Egerton and married his niece, Anne More, ending his diplomatic career. For several years, Donne struggled to cope with his ever-growing family (His wife had no fewer than 12 children). However, from 1610, Donne’s life took a turn for the better – he received patronage from Sir Robert Drury, and eventually became the Dean of St Pauls, a lucrative and prominent position within the church of England. He remained in this position until he died in 1631.
In John Donne’s poetry, we must address a key concept – that of Christian joy. Adam Potkay captures this important theme when discussing Donne’s work by stating;
‘… within the Protestant “pluriverse” of souls each striving for God and struggling against Satan or fallen human nature, joy serves as a countervailing, centripetal force, a sign and surety of adhesion to God and neighbour.’[i] Donne believed that joy was something biblical, a connection to the divine that actively opposed the forces of evil, and Satan. He actively condemned joylessness, and struggled in his famous sermons to draw people away from joyless lives. However, today John Donne is perhaps best known for being one of the first Metaphysical Poets – This group of independent writers was defined by dealing with topics such as love and religion, as well as using ingenious metaphors, or ‘conceits’, to great effect. John Donne’s most famous example is his use of a Flea to discuss sexual relations between two people in The Flea;
Mark but this flea, and mark in this,
How little that which thou deniest me is;
It suck’d me first, and now sucks thee,
And in this flea our two bloods mingled be.
This kind of imagery is extremely evocative, and was particularly effective during the sixteenth- and seventeenth centuries for pushing people’s understanding of language beyond their limits. Conceits broke new ground; as Helen Gardner states, ‘A conceit is a comparison whose ingenuity is more striking than its justness’[ii] – meaning that their denotative meaning was not immediately indicative of their connotative meaning. Basically, they used unusual and unconventional metaphors to challenge people to think about their source material.
Looking at 'A Valediction Forbidding Mourning'
In 'A Valediction Forbidding Mourning', Donne uses this and much more to talk about the dangers and irrationality of loss, grief and joylessness. The title itself is enough to tell us that – Valediction essentially means ‘farewell’, and so the title reads ‘A Farewell Forbidding Mourning’. This ties in to the context of the piece, as it was written to his wife before departing for continental Europe around 1611-12. However, it’s clear that his themes stretch beyond departing on a journey, as the piece begins by referring to the death of ‘virtuous men’. He wants us to understand that these men were loved by friends and family. And yet, whilst some say, ‘… ‘Now his breath goes,’ and some say ‘No.’’, Donne suggests that we ‘melt, and make no noise’; that it is ‘profanation of our joys/ to tell the laity our love.’ He wishes for us to move directly against the concept of mourning by breaking the traditions of a funeral. He refers to the workings of the universe, to the ‘Moving of th’ earth’ and man’s ‘trepidation of the spheres’, as an innocent yet harmful speculation – whilst ‘Men reckon what it did’, they will eventually find no answer to their questions. Here, spheres may be referring to something spiritual as opposed to literal, such as the afterlife, or heaven; however, either way the meaning is much the same. People consider loss on a scale that is beyond their understanding, ergo: why has this happened?
Once we move into the fourth stanza, the main theme of the poem becomes apparent; Donne isn’t just referring to the loss of a friend or relative. He’s talking about the loss of a lover, or a loved partner. He talks about the irrationality of love, and it’s blinding sense of ‘logic’; ‘sublunary lovers’ love/ - Whose soul is sense – cannot admit/ Of absence’. These lines are particularly significant because, in them, he identifies a paradox; lover’s rationality is subjective. Between two lovers, their feelings and experiences are alive and earthly (aka – sublunary, meaning belonging to this world, normally as opposed to a spiritual one). Their souls, made of ‘sense’, cannot adjust to absence as the act of acceptance would kill that feeling. He’s referring to moving on, and the need to put something behind you; ‘cannot admit/ Absence, ‘cause it doth remove/ The thing which elemented it.’ It’s a double-edged sword: on one hand, the loss of this love is a raw and open wound; on the other, moving on risks the chance of betraying yourself.
Donne reinforces this idea in the next stanza, suggesting that this conviction leads us to ‘Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.’ This is a reference to the wilful negligence of a lover in mourning, and the active pursuit of ignoring emotions and rational responses – specifically, he talks about the senses. The next stanza opens up the theme of joyfulness for the first time, as opposed to his position on joylessness. He talks of an ‘expansion’, as opposed to a ‘breach’, referring to the two souls still being one, ‘Though I must go’ – here he acknowledges a physical separation, whilst alluding to a spiritual connection. They don’t halve; instead, they expand, ‘Like gold to aery thinness beat.’ Essentially, it’s similar to dissolution; whilst they spread far apart, the solution is the same. A drop of wine in a glass of water spreads, and remains connected.
The last three stanzas of the poem, my favourite part, essentially embodies the Metaphysical conceit, or extended metaphor, that poets like Donne were so brilliant at crafting. He compares the two separated souls to needles on a compass; ‘If they be two, they are two so/ As stiff twin compasses are two’. The implications of this image are so ingenious, that just considering it brings the reader to several inherent truths about the irrationality of joylessness. By their very nature, the needles of a compass can never meet; ‘Thy soul, the fix’d foot, makes no show/ To move, but doth, if th’ other do.’ The act of pursuing lost love is the futile act of the two hands of a compass attempting to meet. He still considers the two liked at the centre; ‘Yet, when the other far doth roam,/ It leans, and hearkens after it,/ And grows erect, as that comes home.’ There’s a yearning feeling, something which is transcribed as a physical force – the act of grief is a force of nature, a primal sadness.
At the end of the poem, Donne brings the subject matter back to his wife, the recipient of the poem, ‘who must,/ Like th’ other foot, obliquely run’. Here, the title of the poem comes back to us, and we’re reminded that this is his own farewell to his wife, forbidding mourning. He reminds her, however, that whilst in death they may never physically be together, the force of their love can retain joyfulness even after death; ‘Thy firmness makes my circle just,/ And makes me end where I begun.’ Here, in the last lines, he brings the poem full circle by referring to his own beginnings. He reminds her – and by extension, us the readers – that in our memories, the true life of love will always be found.
